Sorry I’m late with a new post. The last week and a half have been busy.
Last week we ventured out to Assiniboine Park for our morning talk on the book Inside Out. It was a beautiful day. Chapter 4 was about handling out desires. What came out of it was “it’s okay to desire” and “its okay to hurt”. So with that Scott gave us time by ourselves for time of reflection about what we desire/long for. It ended being a rough morning. We all shared something and I broke down. I had gotten a text from someone saying they were moving and that was rough. What I shared with the group was that I was afraid that I wouldn’t see or talk to this person again but in reality I will. I’m afraid of losing relationships. What I desire is to not have things around me constantly change (I was finally getting comfortable at home and things were starting to feel good and then I had to move. Things just keep changing on me). I also desire happiness, to be loved, and acceptance. I often feel alone. I have always have had a hard time with that. I tend to look at the bad things in my life rather than looking at the good things. I put myself down. I have had a hard time fitting in in my life, especially in high school. I got made fun of a lot, it was rough. So needless to say it was a rough morning. That afternoon Scott and I went for a walk and we talked about what I had shared (trying not to cry). I was at the point where I wanted to go home. I didn’t want to be here. I am feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and sometimes alone. I didn’t have a very good day. But it was nice to get it all out.
Wednesday morning I shared my devo and I talked about what happened on the day before. I talked about 2 songs that came to mind by Jeremy Camp.
- My Desire– You want to be real You want to be empty inside You want to be someone laying down your pride You want to be someone someday Then lay it all down before the King You want to be whole You want to have purpose inside You want to have virtue and purify your mind You want to be set free today then lay it all down before the King This is my desire This is my return This is my desire to be used by you You want to be real You want to be emptied inside And I know my heart is to feel you near And I know my life It’s to do your will It’s to do your will All my life I have seen where you’ve taken me Beyond all I have hoped and there’s more left unseen There’s not much I can do to repay all you’ve done so I give my hands to use
- Letting Go– Gripping on so tight with the security I have inside Knowing what is right holding onto my pride Letting go of the things I hold so dear Letting go of all my pain and all my fears Letting go of the things I hold so dear Letting go of all my pain and all my fears I have been brought to a place Where I want to give up everything Where all I can do is seek your face And my brokenness I will bring Holding on to the things I deem so strong Holding on even tho my faith has been built so long Holding on to the things I deem so strong Holding on to what I know I’m letting go
These 2 songs really spoke to me. I want to be someone someday and have a purpose, so need to lay it all down before God and rely on Him. My desire to is to be used by God. The last line is what I really liked, “there’s not much I can to to repay all you’ve done so I give my hands to use”. My hands are made to be used for God. I need to be willing to be open to God using me. The second song talked about just letting go. I need to learn to let go of the things I hold dear and let go of my pain and fears to God. Again I need to give everything to God and allow him to work through and in me.
During the week we met with 3 Manitoba Pioneer Camp staff. We had a chance to connect with them and talk about the students from camp and how we can try to connect with them in their high school. It was great meeting them and finding out what they do at camp.
We finished Master Plan of Evangelism. YAY!!!
Ch. 7 Supervision- “Jesus made it a point to meet with his disciples following their tours of service”. “He did not let the occasion pass without giving the frustrated disciples a much-needed lesson on how they, through more prayer and fasting, should have laid hold upon God’s faithfulness”. This chapter was good because it made me think that God is there to help and offer support. He doesn’t send us out unprepared. He sends us out when we are ready and then takes time to go over what we have done, so then he helps us through our mistakes and encourages us to continue. God wants us to spend more time in prayer so then we have a better understanding of his service.
We finished that book and Scott gave us 2 more to read and also Murray gave us a book. TOO MANY AT ONCE.
I’m going to church at Elim Chapel and I am in the choir. This past week was my first Sunday in the choir. I was very nervous but it went well. The church is doing a series on Joseph: Living for God’s Greater Purpose. It’s been very interesting and thought provoking. This weeks message was called Built to Stand based on Genesis 39:6b-12. What spoke to me was a question the pastor asked. What is my first affection? The pastor told a story: a few weeks ago he was preparing for this message in his office and his dog was there. As he was working he would glance over to his dog and say; oh you’re so cute, what a good puppy, I love you. Then he would go back to work and then he would do it again. He did it a few times and then realizing what he was doing. “I’m worshipping my dog”. And there he was working on his sermon, supposed to be focusing on God. He wasn’t focusing on God but on things around him. So he challenged us with the question, What is my first affection? It made me think, Am I worshipping God or am I worshipping material things? I need to be focusing my time on God and having him first in my life. God needs to be my affection, the one who I turn to and love.
We spent thanksgiving at Jana’s (scott’s wife) parents house, Monday night. But in the afternoon at the Zoo. It was a beautiful day. Very HOT. Supper was great, her family is very nice and very hospitable. I ate way too much, I was extremely full. There was so much food and lots of choices for dessert. YUMMM
This past Tuesday we discussed Ch 5 of Inside Out. Springs of the Living Water? Then why so much pain? It talks about 3 different kinds of Longings:
- Crucial Longings– in relationship with God- the consequence of living with no satisfaction of our crucial longings is the beginning of Hell.
- Critical Longings-in relationship with people- immobilizing lostness- it empties your soul of energy to continue
- Casual Longings– experiences- manageable discomfort- the possibility of death threatens physical, not personal, experience
It was a very interesting talk. We then talked about goals that we want to set for ourselves, to help us with spiritual discipline. Here were mine:
- running 3x week
- read my bible 4x week 20 mins
- pray 4x week 10 mins
- journaling every other day/ blog every sunday & wednesday
Out of these I picked 3 that I want the others to keep me accountable for. It’s going to be hard but very rewarding in the end. I’m trying to better myself and have a better relationship with God. So we each will help stay accountable for each other.
I went to see DAVID CROWDER Tuesday night. What an awesome concert. David Crowder puts on a good show. I am so glad I got to go.
Wednesday afternoon we had some guests come to our place to talk to us about GP’s (Global Partnership). They do trips to China, Guatemala, and Kazakhstan. They are now looking at starting some in Africa. Which is where I would love to go. I have been wanting to go on another mission trip since I came back from Czech Republic. It would be an awesome experience.
Yesterday was amazing. We went to Winkler (about an hour and a half outside of Winnipeg), to a high school. Scott was asked to speak to their IVCF groups. And so Scott asked us to help speak as well. So the 4 of us shared a part of our story using 3 parables from the bible.
- The Lost Sheep
- The Lost Coin
- The Lost Son
and we added one more
- The Older Brother (from the lost son story)
It worked very well, we all could relate to one of them. I was the Lost Sheep. I shared a story of just a year ago (I’m not going to talk about it). In the school we went to they have 2 lunch hours so then they have 2 IVCF groups. So we spoke at both. The first group consisted of more of the older students which had around 40 students at and the second group consisted of more of the younger students which had 73 students. Overall there were 110 students. The school has 1500 students and 110 of them attend their christian fellowship group. It was so nice to be in a high school and work with the christian students. We each took a time to speak and after we did we divided them into 4 groups and asked them this: Tell a story of when you’ve been lost, struggling or found by God. The stories were incredible. Not everyone shared, out of my 2 groups about 6 or 7 people shared. It was wonderful to see how God has been working in their lives. I was very encouraged. Being in that high school made me miss students. I haven’t been around them much and I miss it a lot. The talk went great and the students seem to have had a good time and they thanked us for coming. They were very welcoming.
Last night Jess and I went to a book launch. The book was- Invisible Chains: Canada’s Underground World of Human Trafficking. Here is a little blurb about the book:
Just outside Toronto, a 14-year-old Canadian girl was auctioned on the internet for men to purchase by the hour. A young woman was taken by slave traders from an African war zone to Edmonton to earn greater profits by exploiting her in prostitution. A gang called Wolfpack recruited teenagers in Quebec and sold them for sex to high-profile men in the community.
The global problem of human trafficking is only beginning to be recognized in Canada, even though it has been hidden in plain sight. In Invisible Chains, Benjamin Perrin, an award-winning law professor and policy expert, exposes cases of human trafficking, recording in-depth interviews with people on the front lines?police officers, social workers, and the victims themselves?and bringing to light government records released under access-to-information laws.
It was a very interesting evening. It’s crazy to know that trafficking is happening here in Canada and here in Winnipeg. I was going to get the book last night but I didn’t have any money. But I am looking into getting a copy of it. I believe it is worth the read. I want to know more about it and see how I can help. Today was a very informative day. God works in awesome ways.
It has been a very long week and a half but a very good learning week. I’m sure there will be more to come. I’m so glad its the weekend and I can relax a bit. I didn’t get up out of bed until almost 12pm. It was fantastic.